2006/10/28

All growth's a slave, and rot is boss.

So here's the last post. I started this thing strong, petered out, and then abandoned it. Or did it seem like I did a good job? I'm laughing at that. It's been fun here and I'll be home shortly. I leave tomorrow, just past noon, and will see Tokyo and Chicago before I see Boston. The plan is to stay two or three days in Worcester and then head home to CT. Much love,

-Nick

2006/10/19

Where the Liberals Win

Can you guess where? Why it's over here. Can you guess why? Chicken pie. Nope. Fact of the matter is this: a recent poll shows more South Koreans blame the U.S. for the nuclear detonation in North Korea then they do North Korea's leadership. Why is Pyongyang not to blame you cry out? Because we--Americans, or at least our leaders--are inflammatory jerks who bring out the worst in others. I can agree to an extent, but only an extent. I'm not heartbroken though.

Some other points that you also probably didn't see coming:

  1. A boy in one of my brother's classes said that the U.S. and North Korea were the same. Why? Because both have nuclear weapons and both are a problem. Ba-dum-bum-ching!
  2. Stories found in the text book used at the school I taught at had delightful and friendly narratives dealing with members of Earth First!, disabled persons who managed to hike Mt. Everest, and persons who have built their homes entirely from recycled goods (airplanes or tires and cans). All are tales of success, focusing on life outside the norm where creativity and passion are the richest commodities known.

Wild, huh? I would have never thought that the first lesson I'd teach would be about "Julia Butterfly" who lived in a Redwood for two years to keep the logging company from cutting down such an old tree. Stuff like that. She was the member of Earth First!. HAHA. That threw me for a loop. Bravo to whomever makes this stuff. Oh! And then, after the grammar exercises, came exercises on understanding and retention that asked ideological questions. For instance: Do you think Julia Butterfly was right to live in the tree; why or why not? This question was very hard for a child whose society focuses on the group and not such radical and individualistic behavior. Yet, the young pupil struggled and eventually found the middle ground: Yes, Julia was right, because the tree was old. I took this in the Confucian sense: the tree is an elder, elders are superior, so you don't let them chop your elder down and make chairs.

Methodological and Cultural Relativism Be Damned!

It's time for a nice ethnocentric break down of Korea. Clearly, I'm no anthropologist, or a good one for that matter.

Innovative or Enjoyable Things


  • Cellular coverage is so prolific that while one rides underground in a subway they can still talk loud and clearly to people in the U.S., astounding.
  • High speed internet is also prolific and is probably the fastest internet I've ever experienced.
  • Your bathroom is entirely in your shower. The floor is one big tiled area with a drain, the sink connects to the shower head and the whole shebang is easy to clean--you just spray it all down the drain.
  • No guns at all. This means a lot more safety. Kids are out on playgrounds late at night with zero supervision and everyone seems a lot calmer in general. I don't know, maybe if they were all packin' pistols they'd still be like this but I think it helps. There's no worrying about it anyways. Plus, in the Korean Times, I've yet to see a front page murder or shooting.
  • Hiking trails and parks abound with work-out centers. These things practically litter these areas. At any clearing or level area you will usually find pull-up bars, chin-up bars, parallel bars, crunch stations, back stretching stations, and fixed free weights for legs and chest. It's awesome, you're already outside and hiking and then the nation says to you, "Now exercise more!".
  • Public transportation is necessary, easy, and thriving.
  • I've already covered the neon.
  • Sharing food is key here. You eat out of communal bowls and give people your food often.

Not So Innovative or Enjoyable Things

  • Things falling under social Confucianism: Chiefly, the fact that women are treated very poorly, the fact that elders are given respect and leeway just for being old, the fact that your status is paramount, and the fact that what the group does is paramount--how individualistic and capitalistic of me, I know. Examples I have witnessed: a divorced woman was told if she were to fail to remain married (her last and only husband cheated on her) then her father would refuse to speak to her ever again(a man who has been divorced six times without ever considering the fate of those six divorced women); an elderly woman, angry at the attention her son's employee is receiving, consistently and blatantly steals the employee's gifts and possessions without fear of reprisal; status means South Korea has one of the highest suicide rates in the world; and many Koreans see one Westerner or one member of a specific race do something and then they ask, "All like this?", or they just assume this--beware bad examples.
  • The place stinks. Poor sewers or constant trash give this place an intense reek. You'll smell something good, be surprised, and take a big whiff just to want to die.
  • This brings me to the next point: people litter like crazy. You find trash often and it's a real shame.
  • Focus on age can often translate to plenty of inaptitude: the fridge repair man came today, walked in, poked the fridge twice and stared at it as if were about to talk to him and explain everything (as my brother put it). He then mumbled something and left, never to return. Matt's girlfriend called this in, so the repair man knew what the score was.
  • Driving here is like watching a game of GTA without the sporadic bullet fire or police chases. Motorbikes are often on the sidewalk and sometimes cars are too. Either way, the traffic lights and lanes mean little, a beep of the horn tends to signal, "I'm committing a moving violation so you better watch out."

Okay, that seems to be enough for now. Just some tidbits and opinions.

2006/10/14

There is no there there.

I've been reading a lot of Gertrude Stein recently so that title comes from her. I've also been neglecting this blog some. Updates: I finally got some cameras (1 down, more to go), I visited Namsung Tower, found the beautiful side of Itaewan, walked the beautiful grounds of the National Museum, and god knows what else. Tomorrow, my brother and I, plus maybe this kiwi John, are going to hike a mountain range that we spotted from Namsung Tower. It's a good size range with two huge, jutting outcrops of rock that should be fantastic to get into. We'll see how this fool fest goes. Now for a slice of teaching from South Korea:

The following are letters from a class my brother was teaching today where he had his students make postcards.

(1)
To. dog
Hello! I'm in jeju.
I'm having a happy time!
Yesterday, I went skiing.
Next week, I'm going to eat jeju pig meat.
I'm going to take a camera and a coat.
I hope its delicious.

From. kristina

(2)
TO. cat
Hello! I'm in an English classroom.
I'm having a good time!
Yesterday, I listened to music with you.
Next week, I'm going to my grandparents house.
I hope you like me.
(picture of a cat face that resembles eggs and bacon, plus a waving hand)
From Helen

(3)
To Han Bee

Hello. I'm at home.
I'm having a terrible time!
Yesterday, I stayed home all day.
Next week, I'm going to go outside finally.
I'm going to take gloves.
I hope it's snowy.
from. Kevin (Han Sol)

(4)
To. people.

Hello! I'm at home.
I'm having an interesting time.
yesterday, I was at home, playing computer
games and sleeping.
Next week, I'm going to stay home too.
I'm very happy!!
I'm going to take a computer, noodles, and a TV.
I hope you're watching TV and playing computer games
You're free!!
Bye Bye
From. pretty kelly

2006/10/12

Woes of the Workin' Man

In about an hour I'm going to go to work. Yeah, that's right, work. My second week here and I'm teaching English for two hours today at roughly 30 bucks an hour. I'm doing this next week on Thursday again and all told will make about 120 bucks. Soon after I landed in South Korea my brother told me that I had already had job offers. I'll admit, I've been thinking about them a lot. The contract is a year minimum, there's also lots of side work, your hours are short, and you can pocket a $1,000 a month ($2-4,000 if you save). Going to keep thinking about this, in the mean time, I go unprepared to teach some school kids. I've no idea what they're learning or what's going on (the organizational structure here is very lax, they just don't tell you much). My brother says that most of them love the game Hangman if I should get in a tight spot. The money made me do it.

2006/10/10

A Fake Turk and Some Real Jelly

Apparently in 1809, a hoax of an autonomous chess machine developed in 1770 beat Napoleon Bonaparte in chess. I kid you not. And there were more of these things, then a real one. Wow. I present to you a fake Turk, but a real doozy. I also found this and the quote makes it for me: "We conducted a variety of tests and figured out it was jelly." See, the Germans would have known. No charlatan chess Turk would have done to the Kaiser what it did to Benjamin Franklin. These fun little things I've found.

A quick and topical update that I forgot after my anecdote on the alleged atomic bomb test in North Korea: I should never have learned Spanish, or at least tiny fragments of Spanish I can use piecemeal to confound Spanish speakers of the world. I went home the other night, before the big one was dropped over and under the DMZ, and bumped into three Koreans. One addressed me in Spanish, of all things, and I managed to answer and maintain a small dialogue that saw me going back to their home with them. Apparently, the one who spoke Spanish had spent four years in Chile. I forget why, probably to one day bring me into some rotten lunacy with him and two pals. Suffice it to say, for now, that the incident was odd, uncomfortable, fantastic, and hilarious. You go sit in a basement where the Korean speaking man to your right keeps saying Taekwando and hitting his chest. This being performed when he isn't doing things like feeding you seaweed with canned tuna in it or maybe some dried squid in chili sauce instead. He'll grab onto you a lot too, just to emphasize things and be friendly (very Korean). You'll try to speak Spanish, which you can't, because it's better than your attempting to speak Korean, which you certainly cannot do. The lanky and quiet third member of the party that picked you up will collapse to the floor with his phone and just giggle when he can. Little fits all for him. How is your night going to go? Ridiculous. That's how.

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

"Heck, I reckon you wouldn't even be human bein's if you didn't have some pretty strong personal feelin's about nuclear combat." -Major T. J. "King" Kong, Dr. Strangelove

So it happened I hear. Did I feel the slight rumbling? Was I napping as a water glass pitched and rippled just so slightly? Just enough to alert me to ominous tidings far to the North. The streets...Were they not packed with solemn faces whose Confucian indifference was wrecked by the nervous hairs standing upright on the backs of their stern necks? Can you imagine the building, elongated metallic whistle we all dreamed up between our ears? Phwwweeeeeee. PHHHHHWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWW KABLOOIE! OH MY GOD! ACT NOW! SAVE US!

Maybe I'm just in the heart of an ignorant anthill but people on the train, bus, or street are sort of the same. A robust and stoic people I imagine. The PC Bangs and Noribangs remained packed. Respectively, people were sending sporadic bursts of virtual semi-automatic rifle fire at friends or crooning to the Eagles melodious opus "Hotel California". The Chicken and Beer Hofs still sold chicken and even beer. The neon was lit. The Ginjabans still steamed and soaked Ajeossis and Ajummas alike. Kimchi remains popular and chopsticks are still metal.

Here's the sentiment I've heard repeated many times: North Korea is ridiculous, a joke--harmful chiefly to themselves. Fuck, even China is grumpier with them. However, I find that the American media, President Bush, and the BBC are hyping up the fear factor of it all. On the BBC two interviews with two Korean women had them citing an atmosphere of fear being so pervasive that it must be why everyone is so quiet and unresponsive. Here is some old news: nukes get tested underground and there is the general sensibility that you do not shit where you sleep, as a charming fella might say; although, South Koreans are litter bugs (shit, maybe the big one is coming). Frankly, if Pyongyang goes all billy beserk I imagine they know that 1) they'll get dusted (radioactive fallout) and 2) they'll get dusted (foreign military response). Let's not kid ourselves. Sure, there is political tension and it wasn't a friendly move on Kim's behalf, but it wasn't so outrageous that we all got heart burn and sat in the bathroom reading the answers to the Korean Times crossword just to relax and come down from it all.

Here's what was written on the BBC:
"US ambassador to the UN John Bolton told the BBC: 'If the Security Council of the United Nations can't deal with a threat like that then we have to ask what role it could have in dealing with weapons of mass destruction around the world.'"

Mr. Bolton...John...Johnny...John-o...J. B. and the Answer All Stars...what role could America have in dealing with weapons of mass destruction around the world? I'm sorry, that's right, WMDs are absent from Iraq and I imagine the global community won't not be not rushing to bask in the assurance the U.S. gave by not finding weapons that weren't there. I found that to be a ridiculous statement. Not that I think the UN isn't a complete mess or that American citizenry will even really notice the absurdity of such a statement.

2006/10/07

Itty Bitty Itaewan...

I have just now returned from Itaewan. You go there late and the trains stop running so the objective is to do everything you can in that city to stay awake until the trains start running again. What is Itaewan? As my brother described it: The Mos Eisley of South Korea. What does that mean non-nerds or people who live under rocks? Sian I'm looking in your direction. It means a small Star Wars (A New Hope) settlement that Obiwan described as a: "wretched hive of scum and villainy." This was very accurate for Itaewan. Pure wild west. Pure insanity. It was a blast. I have to go to bed.

2006/10/06

"Chew Sock", Tresspass, and the Heebie-Jeebies

I'm in danger of not posting and running amok instead, so I'll recap a little jaunt I had yesterday.

Chuseok (pronounced like in my title) is in full swing over here, effectively this is Thanks Giving Day, and runs for three consecutive days. The holiday is celebrated in the 8th month and on the 15th day, all within the lunar calendar, and most young people site the number one stress of it as having to go home and endure questions about their work, status, and romantic life (Get a spouse and get some kids). The questions and focus on evaluation is very much a product of a Confucian model that society is run by over here. Other ways that the Confucian model manifests: women are of lower status then men (my brother points out that in this regard it's sort of like America in the sixties over here), elders are superiors despite what their accomplishments might be, one tries to avoid openly displaying their inner emotions (faces can be pretty blank), your friends are all the same age as you, and contacts can be more applicable than experience.

So back to the jaunt. With Chuseok at fever pitch most people are gathering with their families and making with the food, celebration, and evaluation. My brother and I went for a short hike over what you might call a hill. Elevatory climbs are sharp here and mountains abound. Even hills, while not yet mountains, are far steeper than what I'm used to. Now nobody builds on these hills or on mountains, at least not much past pylons and maybe some small military or observational site. This lends Korea a sort of well blended and moderated feeling; you can see massive developed cities, but they're broken up and surrounded by rich towers of green and rock.

This wasn't planned though. For one, it's impossible to build anything major on these things. Just not gonna happen. And second of all, hills and mountains are primarily for the dead. This is where burials occur (their is now a push for cremations due to limited space and for the first time cremations out number burials). Walking along any of these areas you are nearly gauranteed to come across a handful of cleared spots where a raised up half-circle of grassy earth surrounds another raised mound or a stone circle with a pile of earth a top it. There can be several in one spot or just one, sometimes there are stone posts with writing or just stone lantern statues. They are supposed to be well kept and trimmed by the family they belong to, but some are overgrown; either because their family fails to participate in this form of reverence, is incapable of doing so, or is not even a living blood line anymore.

The string of hills my brother and I hiked the other day was dotted with these graves on the second half and also intermixed with farmland, literally graves and chilipeppers or cukes all in the same spot. When we finally reached the end of the path, we had to cross through a farm and then came to a major highway. Not wanting to simply return the way we came we chose a new hill without a path. When doing this there is one major necessity: a stick, at least one and a hlaf feet long and preferably strong enough to be agitated repeatedly. Very common over here is an insect I just deciphered as the Korean Golden Orb Web Spider. They're large, I'm sure harmless, beautiful, and spin webs 3-4 feet across between trees. You think you would spot these but you don't. Then you don't keep calm. Then you don't stand in one place and then you freaking rip at your clothes. Then you might mash the glorious spider. Not the best result, but you do get surprised. I've gotten some webs on me, but I don't think one of the spiders yet. My brother apparently hit one a while back, cleared the webbing, and sometime later felt the pin pricks of tiny, yet huge, legs on the back of his neck. Each step I'm sure was thunder in his ears. So, the Golden Orbs--they're prolific and you can look very hard and miss stepping into several, but you cannot avoid them all. I know that in the woods, anywhere, you always trip webs and rip them down, spiders rebuild frequently. The stick is more about making sure I don't lose my ever-loving composure and then accidentally kill something I never would want to destroy in the first place. By the by, these giants down't spin webs like you think of classically. They're more like huge silken parachutes that became caught on branches and now lounge there in the wind. The webs are incredibly tough--lots of give--and are littered with large plant material as well as mass graveyards of lesser bugs. I do confess, often my brother and I wasted our sticks when our mouthing off to each other quickly fell into slapping at each other with branches in a thick wood. Promptly following this we often ate web.

So, at the peak of this first uncharted hill we found a stone pillar, a small rectangular thing that one often finds stateside and is a demarcation of state boundaries, private land ownership, or was once a hitching post for horses. It had some Korean etched into it and my brother copied that down. We figured it would be the same as back home, or maybe something far cooler. Later, SunHee translated it and informed us it was a sign saying that you needed to stay out of the area you were in. Her recaction, her dismay at our having been there, leads me to believe that this is actually rather serious. Yet, it should also be noted that Koreans don't really travel off the path (you can most easily decipher this by noting how much litter is unfortunately strewn on established pathways but not anywhere off of them). I think it was just a foreign and radical concept to SunHee.

However, we then kept the power terminal we found a secret from her. A large power terminal was on the otherside of the hill and we had to scale it's eight foot barbed wire fence twice to get through it and over to a populated area close to home. We had to because food was cooking and we were hungry. That and slushies had been discussed; these being strictly the province of children in South Korea, as my brother put it, and something he is routinely giggled at for purchasing. So we strove onward.

The first time we crossed the fence we found a low gap and crawled under. That was easy except my brother accosted me with a branch when I went through. A good ten minute battle ensued following that little misstep of his--a battle where two large sized, caucasian Fool Apes, as they're best known, battered one another in the leaves. Sticks were thrown and a cessation to hostilities was called when the sticks got too big and we noticed we could be seen by a pair of windows. Remember that Chuseok business? Hopefully the workers were home, the place didn't seem very alive and we weren't noticed, as outrageously conspicuous as we were at this point. We kept to thicker vegetation just in case. While you get certain leeway with the law for being a foreigner (Korean officers don't like the effort of trying to get past the language barrier and often let you go for smaller infractions) it should be kept in mind that business is big over here. Top companies like Samsung own some 70+% of the private land and others like Hyundai have often become synonymous with the Korean mafia. Back home we might know Samsung as electronics and Hyundai as cars, but here they and a few others do it all: construction, security, stores, food, and electronics again. Potentially, you're more often on their turf than not it seems.

We used these facts to give ourselves a heightened sense of adventure. Eventually our game got us to the otherside of the enclosed area and this time there wasn't any gap to cross under. Using some trees and the concrete poles securing the barbedwire, we began to cross. The trouble was not the wire, the trouble was the vines at the top. Vines, no prickers. That's right, now I remember, huge, awful, hooked, bountiful prickers. What I wouldn't have given for large, yellow striped spiders at this point. The thorns I found at the top hooked into me everywhere. I'm accustomed to being pricked by thorns out in the woods, but much smaller ones that only scrape you. These had the repeated habit of getting into my flesh and pulling it into a conical shape as I resisted. Worse for wear we made it over.

On the otherside we found another grave yard/farm and a path. Down from there was an apartment laden area and a family sitting outside and eager to practice some English. Following them came a vegetable vender who had been echoing throughout the forest at the end of our trek. He traveled next to his truck, the flatbed sporting his wares, and announced his merchandise via megaphone. I swear, he did this the way you announce propoganda when you occupy foreign soil during war time. I thought, "I should buy his vegetables. It's over, he won." Later on he would also travel to outside SunHee's apartment as we sat and ate. He'd conquered us. Do you know what came next though? That is, I mean, after the initial propoganda of vegetables? Slushies? No.

No slushies came at all. Only pain. You have a dream, then you get prickers, and then the dream dies. You suffer heartfelt, stinging pain as a result. If you remember how Chuseok is a holiday I mentioned above and that the power terminal workers were probably absent because of it then maybe you already know that the slushy vendors definitely were absent. With kids out of school for the holiday there is no profit filtering past the slushy sellers in the morning or afternoon and that means no slushy filters out at all. It was humid, I had been exercising. I was hot and tired. I was thirsty. I got juice instead. It was okay.

Returning to SunHee's apartment was our salvation though. She'd made a soup, a sort of stew I can't recall the name of, but it had onion, spring onion, mushroom, egg, potato, and thick, doughy pads of square noodle. Very, very good. The other night I had cooked for them, pasta and a red sauce that turned out well, so it felt very good to be exchanging cultural and culinary knowledge and experience with one another. I figure that if sharing food is important over here (eating out of the same bowls, paying for meals, ordering for groups) then this has to be too. It was a great finish to the hike. The food, after all, has been a constant point of pleasure here. Kimchi, a smell which permeates the country, I do love. Kimchee is a fermented (for 1-3 years) concotion of chili peppers and vegetables, often Chinese cabbage, and is either served as a side with most meals or used as an ingredient in many dishes. It does vary all over, I've noticed, and the best I had remains to be the serving I had the night I landed. Even a Korean who ate with us that night exclaimed that the restaurant had particularly good Kimchi.

I never mentioned this meal before, so quickly: it was onion, mushroom, and some kind of pork strip (think giant bacon) cooked on a heated metal disc in front of you. You then took pieces of these ingredients and wrapped them in a leaf with other ingredients and side dishes spread across the table. Or you could take this white-green radish like half-circle soaking in some green liquid, soak that in a brown, watery sauce and then take a piece of the pork, dip it in an almond colored powder, and place the pork on the radish piece, wrap it up, and eat. A very good meal.

Okay, the jaunt was covered, I've digressed into food and am now going to go get some. Maybe some Jook, a hot rice porridge (rice congee) with vegetables coming in an assortment of flavors such as chicken, beef or pumpkin. Everybody go enjoy yourselves...it's what? Maybe 9pm over there? I think you're something like 14-16 hours behind. Bryan and people not in the New England or East Coast area, I haven't even tried or thought about what the time difference is for you. Anyways, it seems I might keep posting and not just peter out into madness, or a Ginjaban.

Much love,

-Nick